The Playhouse

She was thinking of me I'm sure. Now she'll put on a different act, a different mask but I can still see the incriminating glow in her eye. I'm sure she was thinking of me.

"What're you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd pay you a little visit"

Oh don't turn your back..

"I told you not to come."

"Yeah I know but I.."

"You can go now."

"Doll come on.."

Don't make me chase you, it's getting ridiculous.

"Close the door when you leave. And make it soon."

"Doll.."

"Goodbye James."

Oh get out of the bathroom. She thinks I'm gonna leave? She's hiding from me? Lord..

"Please, will you just come out so we can talk?"

I need to look her in the eyes to do this. I can't talk through a door. I need to know what she feels as every single one of my words crashes in her ears. I need to see it.

"Doll just come talk to me for a minute! Please!"

"I'm in the fucking bathroom James. Get the fuck out! There's nothing to talk about!"

"There is, you know there is! I messed up! I know!"

"Go away!!"

"I can't! You know I can't!! We deserve, you deserve to have me fighting for you! Fight for us!!"

"Oh shut up!"

"You deserve it!! You know.."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!"

Fuck.. I can only feel hate. Nothing more. This isn't good.

On the other hand, hate is strong. And that's good. Strong feelings are good.

"I'm sorry... I can't go..."

Door opening! Door opening! Her long fingers, her soft white arm with the tiny almost invisible yellow hairs only I know are there, her round sweet breasts, the flesh on her neck, her beautiful face.

"Quit the wimpy crap James. I've seen you put on your sorrowful bullshit show before."

Fuck. She's cold. And running off again. Come here. Look at me damnit!

"I love you! Look at me!! Just look at me! You know this is true!!"

Stop. Turn to me. Yes. Yes! Come to me! Yes!!

"James, listen hard, even if you do.."

"I do! You know I do! Look into my eyes!!"

"Listen! Even if you do, I don't give a shit! Understand? I don't care!"

"That's not true. You're just afraid of trusting me again. I know.."

I've never seen her like this. This coldness in her eyes. I can't get through that ice vest. Fuck!

"James, I'm calmly asking you to leave. So please leave now. Don't make me call the police."

FUCK!!

"Please leave now."

WHORE!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

She closed the door behind me. Didn't even give time to NOT look back at her. FUCK!! What am I gonna do? This is bullshit. She couldn't be over me that quick. I've screwed up before and I fixed it. I can have her back. I know I can. Bitch. I can have her on her knees. Me looking down on her. As I have done before. With the power to crush her. I can do it. I want her crawling beneath my foot. I need her there. Right there.