It dazzled her. So overwhelming it was. All of her dreams that once seemed foolish and always made her feel as a child, now bloomed before her eyes. There was cheerful reverence in their faces. Each one of their words felt as warm cider shed delicately on her innocent craving heart. She took every word, grateful but not shyly, as she had caught every rose thrown on to the stage earlier that evening, knowing herself now. No arrogance could be found in the proud aura that glowed around her precious features. It was all simple acceptance. Doubt and fear had not survived in this new light. As creatures of the shadows, they perished as she grew stronger and aware of her power. As a dark silk veil that sickly kept her in it's dissimulated assurance, it could not withstand the strong cleansing winds of the light. The light that he had shown her. He had made her believe. And so she could not perceive the reasons to the obscurity of the disapproving expression that painted his front.
Why this now? At the moment of my coronation. The moment he so many times prophesied. Why this darkness my loving one? What makes you set yourself apart from this happiest of times? Am I less than you imagined? Am I not what you wanted? How have I disappointed you? Where is the pride in your eyes? Am I not worthy of it? Never good enough is it? I who was nothing and nothing I should have kept on being if it was not for your guiding hand. Why do you eye me with such discontentment? How have I failed you? How?
Soon sadness was at the gates of her heart. As vultures surrounding the doomed thirsty vagrant that once scurried with wandering eyes through the many monuments of the natural world. Darkening the soul and heart, weakening while just waiting. So that soon the gates would themselves invite the enemy in. But she would have none of this. No, especially not from him. She had given himself to him, trusted her heart only to him. And so she felt, she owed him nothing. This was time for them to walk side by side. Equals were they, she was strong and so was he.
Why encourage me then? Would he have me for ever be his poor sick child. Always in need of help and reassurance? What selfishness drives him to unwelcome this glory in which I am now bathed in? I curse him! I curse him in his fastidious attempt to make me feel unworthy. How could he? Was it all lies? Did he not truly believe in me as he so often had told me? When I was kneeling, with fear weaving a deceitful blanket around my heart as if nesting it on a cradle of leeches. Did he not mean it then? What sickening protecting cloth did he too clothe me in? Alas, he eyes me and those around me with disgust. How cruel a beast. Wishing grudgingly that he had incited me just a bit less. So that I would continue my life diminished, limping, ever relying on his goodness. His goodness? What goodness is this? How blind I must have been, how hungry for love that I would misread his goodness. His goodness!? Bloodsucking beast! Can this be the dark pure truth? Why do you eye me in such grave manner? Why this from you of all people? My protector, my strength. Is this what you shall leave me with then my love? What torment did you find amidst my good fortune? My well deserved good fortune. Is it not? What awful secret does your once loving heart now hold? Why? Why this?
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